Teacher Arrested

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a
public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, the attorney general said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being
charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," a Justice Department spokesman said. "They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x'
and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in
every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3
sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes".

Klockren satir!