Vilken guldgruva:
http://tiny.cc/3a693

Sample:

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

haha
*thumbs up*